The first of the year should be a time of fun, exciting looking ahead. Yet, for me last evening it was a time of looking back at somethings that were ugly. There is the little bit of drama I tried to stir up New Year’s Eve by sending an email I didn’t need to. I was trying to reacquaint with a friend. I just need to let that one go. Thank goodness I did not get a reply. But I still shouldn’t have done it. Then in the day, New Year’s, I did something else I regret. I don’t need to air my wrong choices all the time. I will just point out that these two episodes were sinful by Christian standards. I felt condemnation from 4pm to 7-ish when I read the following by Kelly Balarie who wrote in a blog that I received in the mail–
Ditch old memories, for the memory of Jesus on the cross.
Toss out feelings of separation of God, for the reality that God grants us bold-access to the throne of grace.
Let go of every 2018 mess-ups, because we can’t steal-back what Christ’s blood already paid a hefty price for.
Give thanks that the righteousness of Christ far surpasses the lack of faith, hope and love we failed to muster yester-year.
You can find the whole article here: Kelly’s New Year Letter
Isn’t’ this the message I like to spread—forgiveness, grace, reunification due to God’s love and choice? Yet I couldn’t get there on my own last night. I am not usually as convicted I was last night. Maybe it’s a new phase in my walk with the Lord. Last year, we (me and Him) worked on several things. My word for this year though is Authenticity. I can’t be authentic with anyone else until I am honest with myself and God. My “rug” is not big enough to just keep sweeping things under it that are ugly.
This is why I enjoy reading blogs. Every time I open one I get to read a new perspective of life and learn, expand, and remember. I wrote Kelly and thanked her for being the voice of God for me. Staying stuck beating myself up does not change anything. It just makes me unusable for and by God. What I needed to do was get right with God and set things straight that I did and then MOVE ON.
Are you stuck in self-condemnation long after you have gotten right with God? Make your amends and move on. Learn and stop whatever it was. Life is a journey. Try to take the next right step.
Until Next Time~